Gone
by CrazyTenor42
Summary: Obi-Wan loves Anakin. Anakin doesn't care for anyone but Padme. So when Padme dies from her fall on Geonosis, Anakin accuses Obi-Wan of letting Padme die. A guilt-stricken Obi-Wan searches for any means to resurrect her. But only the Dark Side holds the secrets to raise the dead and Darth Sidious demands a great price. How far will Obi-Wan fall? Onesided A/O
1. Chapter 1

This is taking place during AOTC. The beginning conversation is taken from Attack of the Clones! The rest of the chapters will not be all dialogue like this, this is just an intro chapter, because I am going to split the rest of the chapters into Anakin and Obi-Wan's perspectives. I wanted this one to be a short explanation of Anakin's and Obi-Wan's feelings. The next chapter will skip to the battle on Geonosis.

Thanks Abbster13666 for her ideas on the story!

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"Any activity up here?"

"Quiet as a tomb."

"I don't like just waiting here for something to happen to her." A console beeped. "What's going on?"

"She covered the cameras. I don't think she liked me watching her."

"What is she thinking?"

"She programmed Artoo to warn us if there's an intruder."

"It's not an intruder I'm worried about. There are many other ways to kill a Senator."

"I know, but we also want to catch this assassin. Don't we, Master?"

"You're using her as bait?!"

"It was her idea…don't worry, no harm will come to her. I can sense everything going on in that room. Trust me."

"It's too risky…besides, your senses aren't that attuned, young apprentice."

"And yours are?"

"Possibly."

"Padme and I are close friends, Master. I can sense her far more than you can."

"Anakin, you have not seen her in years. Mind your feelings, they will betray you."

"I know, Master. 'A Jedi shall not know love.'"

"I would hardy say you're in love with the Senator, Padawan. Don't you think you're being a bit dramatic?"

"Have you ever liked someone, Master?"

"That is hardly appropriate, nor is it the time. A Jedi accepts his feelings and then releases them to the Force."

"What if you don't need to release them? I would do anything to protect Padme, Master, isn't that the Jedi way?"

"We protect everyone, Anakin, but we do not form attachments. Would you risk someone else's life to save the Senator?"

"Master, I would do the same for you."

"Your job is to save those that you can, even at the cost of sacrificing those close to you."

"But wouldn't you risk someone else's life to save me?"

"I would do anything to save you, Anakin. And I am aware that is my shortcoming."

"Saving me is a shortcoming?"

"I would put you above everyone, even above the mission. It is hypocritical of me, I know. I need to set aside my own feelings before I lecture you on yours."

"But why put them aside? Why not acknowledge them?"

"Yes, Anakin. I understand your emotions. But I know the importance of not letting your feelings rule your life."

"Really? How would you know?"

"Watch your tone, my young Padawan. You still have much to learn."

"Who is it?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Who is it that you have feelings for?"

"That is none of your concern."

Anakin muttered something under his breath, unfortunately loud enough for Obi-Wan to hear him. "I am not making it up just to appease you, Anakin. If you really must know, it's – it's you. I love you. I would do anything for you, Anakin. I would put you ahead of the Jedi."

"So you know how I feel about Padme then." Anakin walked over towards the window.

Obi-Wan watched him in uncertainty. For such a serious, life changing revelation on his part, Anakin didn't have much of a reaction.

"Yes, Anakin. I do."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I took some of the script from AOTC in Anakin's Journal. Not my own words!

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_ From the holorecording of Anakin Skywalker's Journal:_

The Council has assigned us to watch over Padme. I haven't seen her in over ten years. She is beautiful, even more so without all the costumes of the Queen. She seems simpler, but in that simplicity she looks even more of an angel. Protecting her is anything but a mission. I would do anything to protect her. I have not forgotten the kindness she showed the little nine-year old boy. She was nicer to me than Obi-Wan had been.

If only Obi-Wan could understand. I know he is my Master but must he cling so tightly to the Jedi Council's rules? Don't get me wrong... Obi-Wan is a great mentor, as

wise as Master Yoda and as powerful as Master Windu. I am truly thankful to be his apprentice. Only... although I'm a Padawan learner, in some ways... a lot of ways... I'm ahead of him. I'm ready for the trials. I know I am! He knows it too. But he feels I'm too unpredictable... Other Jedi my age have gone through the trials and made it... I know I

started my training late... but he won't let me move on. He's overly critical! He never

listens! He just doesn't understand. It's not fair!

He says that he would give anything up for me. That he loves me as I do Padme. It isn't the same thing! I love my Master. He would do anything for me and I would do the same for him. I understand how he feels about me and I feel the same. We are a Master/Padawan team. Our minds are bonded together, along with our thoughts and feelings, we know each other better than we know ourselves. He is my closest partner, my best friend.

At least, that is what I assume he means. I have never seen my Master form a romantic attachment to anyone. He has always been very guarded with his heart. It's laughable that he should mean he loves me more deeply than friendship. I'm not saying I would be revolted if he was…actually in love with me….I just don't know where he would get that from. We are polar opposites. We bicker more than we talk. It makes us friends, but never anything more. I don't think he has ever been in love, nor does he know how it feels.

That is why he can't understand my relationship with Padme. Padme is different. Padme is more personal. She is in my heart and my soul. I love her with a devotion that Obi-Wan can not understand.

I can tell Padme anything. She won't spout off some Jedi wisdoms or advice. _A Jedi accepts his feelings and then releases them to the Force._ Padme knows how our relationship would be viewed if the Jedi or the Senate found out, but we love each other all the same. Our moments by the lake together, in the fields on Naboo, there is nothing I can write that will truly explain it. My time with Padme is precious.

She knows about my mother and the Tusken Raiders. She said that to be angry is to be human, something that the Jedi distance themselves from. But what is so wrong with being human? With loving and being afraid and being angry? Why do I have to be ashamed of loving Padme? Do I have to be ashamed that I love my mother? Obi-Wan regrets his attachment to me. I would defy the Council for someone I loved. If only my Master would do the same.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: The same disclaimer: this also has portions of the script from AOTC. I promise, this is going to be the last chapter that skips around – this chapter is essentially the start of the plot! Chapters will get longer! Thanks for the reviews!

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Anakin, Padme, and Obi-Wan were exhausted. It was a great relief to have a moment of rest on the gunships, no matter how brief. Anakin wished Obi-Wan wasn't onboard with them. He was thankful they had saved Obi-Wan, but his concern was no on Padme. The nexu had left three long, ragged scratched across her back that were still oozing blood. The sooner this gunship could get them to a medial supply ship the better.

That luck of course, would not hold. Obi-Wan noticed something in a distance and shouted at Anakin.

"Look over there!"

Anakin recognized the figure on the Geonosian speeder immediately. "It's Dooku! Shoot him down!"

The clone turned his head. "We're out of rockets, sir."

"Then follow him!" Anakin demanded.

Padme looked worried. "We're going to need some help!"

"No, there's no time. Anakin and I can handle this."

Anakin agreed with Padme. Padme would be a liability in a fight against the Sith. Anakin and Obi-Wan were exhausted. Dooku would be prepared and refreshed, Anakin and Obi-Wan had just found a tiring a battle.

The sudden blast made the ship lurch. Padme lost her grip and tumbled gracelessly out of the ship.

"Padme!" They were a few hundred feet in the air. Even on a mostly sand planet, that fall would break a few bones. She would be virtually helpless in a war zone. "Put the ship down! Now!"

"Don't let your personal feelings in the way!" Obi-Wan shouted. He turned to the clone commander, "Follow that speeder!"

Padme was still alive, Anakin could feel it, but her Force signature was weak. He started to hear shouts of his mother, crying out for him, pleading….he let his mother die, he wasn't going to let Padme die as well. "Lower the ship!"

"Anakin, I can't take Dooku alone! I need you! If we catch him we can end this war right now! We have a job to do!"

"I don't care! Put the ship down!"

"You'll be expelled from the Jedi Order!" Expelled for disobeying his Master? He was hardly going to be expelled. Anakin and Obi-Wan both knew it. The most he would get was a slap on the wrist and another few months meditating.

"I can't leave her! She's going to die!"

"Come to your senses. What do you think Padme would do if she were in your position?"

_She would save me, _Anakin thought bitterly. _She wouldn't let me die like you would, Master. You claim to love me but you would let your best friend die to save the mission. _

The ship docked at the end of the hanger bay. Down in the desert wasteland, Senator Padme Amidala, former Queen of Naboo, was finally killed by a Federation droid.


	4. Chapter 4

Anakin groaned and pulled himself up from the wall he was thrown against. Looking around the hanger, he saw Obi-Wan struggling to his feet, an arm clutching his shoulder. Yoda was standing pensively off to one side of the hanger bay, surrounded by a few clone troopers. Dooku's ship was nowhere to be seen.

Anakin rushed over to Obi-Wan. His thigh and upper arm were both seared with a fairly deep lightsaber wound. Anakin wrapped Obi-Wan's uninjured arm around his shoulder, helping him limp towards the mouth of the cave.

"I'm sorry, Master."

"Some bacta will take care of it, Anakin, there is no need to worry."

"It was my fault. I should have been fighting with you."

"He would have overpowered us both, Anakin. My – my pride is at fault."

Obi-Wan started shaking. Anakin held him more firmly against his own body, trying to slow the convulsions.

Yoda came hobbling over. "Care, Master Kenobi needs. Return to the Temple, we shall. A transport, the clones have brought."

Two clones came over with a stretcher and Anakin lowered Obi-Wan gently onto it. He was wordlessly boarded into the ship and Anakin felt his worry about his Master lessen. It allowed a new fear to flood into his mind.

"Where's Padme?" Anakin demanded. "She fell and – " he stopped. He did not want to directly accuse Obi-Wan, although it had been his fault. There was no reason for them to rush to the hanger. Obi-Wan should have known he and his Padawan were not able to take a Sith Lord on by themselves. Perhaps Obi-Wan's pride had blinded him – he had already defeated one Sith Lord, why not a second one? But Dooku was far more than a newly trained Sith, he was a skillfully trained Jedi, tainted with the powers of the Dark Side. It made him and even deadlier combination.

Obi-Wan had been so adamant they needed to take on Dooku. Which had resulted in two injured Jedi and might have cost Padme – no, he wouldn't think about that. Padme was fine…she must be.

"Retrieved Senator Amidala, the clones have."

"Padme! Is she okay?"

The stretcher that came rolling towards the ship suggested a much different story.

"Padme! Padme!"

Anakin ran over to her side, knowing before he got there she wouldn't answer him. The Force signature that normally surrounded her – that sang whenever she was near – was gone.

"She was killed by the Federation before we could reach her, sir."

Anakin looked up at the clone commander who had spoken. "No, she fell out of one of our command ships."

"With respect, sir, that may be true but she survived the fall. Regretfully our unit was not in firing range of the Federation droids that shot her."

Obi-Wan felt Anakin's cries in the Force even before he stormed into the ship's crudely designated sickbay, pushing roughly past the med-droid.

"She was alive, Obi-Wan! If you- if you had put the kriffin' ship down…if you had listened to me for once in your life…Padme would be okay!"

"Anakin, I am truly sorry, I did not know….I thought – Dooku – "

"You're always thinking of duty! Do you ever care about people? Everything you do is all about the damn order! My mother died, Obi-Wan. You killed her, just like you killed Padme. We could have saved them! _I could have saved them! _I'm glad being a Jedi means letting people I love die, Master."

"Is that why you were on Tatooine? Anakin, you had an order from the Council!"

He realized a few seconds too late that wasn't the smartest thing to have said at the present time.

"See? My mother is dead and you're worried that I broke a precious Jedi mandate. Do you ever care about people? About me? You knew they were going to die and you didn't care. Was it your way of teaching me not to have attachments?"

Obi-Wan reached out and grabbed Anakin's hand. "Please, Anakin, believe me. I never – if I knew your dreams were true or that Padme would have died…I care about you Anakin, I only wanted to do what I felt was best for you."

"So it was best ignoring me? Not putting enough faith in me? I knew we have to help them, Obi-Wan. YOU IGNORE ME! Are you jealous? Is that what you think is best for me? Letting my mom and Padme die? Did you think that if I didn't have them I would love you more?"

"Anakin – no – that – that isn't….I don't…"

Anakin snatched his hand out of Obi-Wan's grip.

"I loved them, Obi-Wan. Did you think letting them die would bring us closer?"

Anakin stalked away, leaving Obi-Wan in more pain than Dooku could have possibly inflicted. Obi-Wan never wished that upon them. Anakin's dreams were just that – nightmares – or at least it had thought so. Once again, his pride and confidence in his own opinions had betrayed him. He loved Anakin more than anything. Yes, he was jealous of Padme. He knew of Anakin's attachment to her, even as a young boy. She held a closeness to Anakin that he would never achieve. But she was able to give Anakin a warmth and a intimacy that Obi-Wan was unable to, and for that, he had always been grateful. Anakin craved attention and reassurance that Obi-Wan, having only been raised in the cold halls of the Temple, did not know how to give. Padme at least gave him that. But had Obi-Wan been so cold toward Anakin that he truly felt Obi-Wan would let Padme die in a fit of jealousy?

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A/N: Yes! The story is off hiatus! It will be updated more frequently, sorry for the wait...Thank you: Abbster for reminding me to update!


	5. Chapter 5

_Dreams pass in time. _Only this one hadn't. He had spent a month of sleepless nights, listening to Shmi cry out in pain, desperately calling for her son. A son who had abandoned her for the Jedi. A son who let her die because of his Jedi Master. Why had he become a Jedi if he could not use his powers to save his own mother?

Anakin had trusted Obi-Wan-Wan. _Dreams pass in time. _Padme would be fine, stopping Dooku was more important. Had Obi-Wan known? He must have at least suspected there was a truth to Anakin' statements. It would have only been a day's journey to stop on Tatooine and save his mother. It would have taken a few seconds to save Padme. So why hadn't he? What made him stubbornly refuse? Was it his Jedi morals? Or something deeper?

"He's always been holding me back! I trusted him! But he feels superior! He thinks he knows better than me. After ten years he still doesn't trust me. He's the reason Padme and my mother are dead. I could have saved them!"

Palpatine listened to Anakin's rant with a bored interest. Really, for the supposed Chosen One, Skywalker was always going to be a whiny teenager. Tiresome. And the boy was likely to kill himself recklessly driving off in a speeder. Not exactly the ideal Sith material. A pity. He had held high hopes for the boy. Master Kenobi, he showed promise. Anakin had too many emotions and was too unpredictable for a Jedi or a Sith. The boy was as hormonal as a female. Kenobi was refreshingly the opposite. He was the face of a cold and heartless Sith. Anakin was correct – Kenobi had let Senator Amidala and Shmi Skywalker die. The Jedi Council would have supported Anakin's decision in both counts, encouraging their precious Chosen One to find the truth in his dreams, and then to save the woman they were hired to protect. Whatever reason Kenobi had, it was of purely selfish motives – another trait he shared with the Sith.

"I'm sure Master Kenobi was doing what he felt was the right thing to do. The Jedi Council holds him in high esteem."

Cue a five minute rant on how Obi-Wan-Wan was focused only on the Jedi Council and its teachings because they thought he was such a perfect Jedi…

"–even though for all his lectures on the Code and not having attachments, he turns around and tells me he has a Code forbidden attachment for me."

That was something new. If it was a romantic attachment….so the Grand Negotiator had a weakness, his sniveling apprentice.

"A romantic attachment? That must be terribly awkward for you, Anakin. Have you informed the Council? Any relations between a student and their teacher can always be difficult to understand."

Anakin looked uncomfortable. "No. It…he didn't – he wouldn't – "

"If it makes you more comfortable I will talk to the Council on your behalf, Anakin."

"I didn't mind when he told me. I trust him not to…do anything. But – but he let my mother and Padme – I…what if he was jealous? He warned me about my relationship with Padme becoming too romantic. He knew about us."

"Jealousy can be a dark path. A Master should set an example for his students – Jedi or not."

Anakin was still unsure. If he had told the Council, it was likely Obi-Wan would be removed from his position as Master and Anakin would be appointed a new one. That would be better – wouldn't it? A Master who listened to him, felt he was ready to prepare for the trials? The was no way he could go back to being under Obi-Wan's watch. How could he look at the man who so calmly told Anakin not to worry? That the two people he loved – the two rare women who each cared and looked out for him in their own ways, the only people who loved him and made him feel both human and Jedi, someone more than just the Chosen One – were going to die because Obi-Wan ignored Anakin's overwhelming feelings that suggested otherwise.

"I think – I will go to the Council."

Palpatine clapped Anakin on the shoulder. "I am always here if you need to talk."

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A/N: It is a short chapter, I apologize, but I do have another two written that I will be posting tonight. It is going to be extreme Obi-Wan bashing for a little while...I do think that he was to blame partially for Shmi's death, and in this case, Padme's.


	6. Chapter 6

As it turned out, Anakin did not need to talk to the Council. Obi-Wan had done that for him already. The entire Council has been summoned, and Anakin, who had of course left his commlink in his quarters, frantically dashed down the Temple halls. He was ten minutes late, but luckily, the only reprimand he got at most a bit of a dirty glare.

"Must to discuss, we do."

Anakin bowed respectively. "Yes, Master." He stood in the center of the Council chambers, making sure he left a few feet between himself and Obi-Wan.

"Well, you handled yourself, in light of the situations. A great tragedy, your mother and Senator Amidala's deaths were."

"The Council has decided you have passed your Trials. Congratulations.

Anakin was stunned. "Thank you, Masters."

"Felt you were ready, Master Kenobi did. Agreed with him, the Council has. Your knighting ceremony, we shall hold."

Obi-Wan moved forward, clearly expecting Anakin to turn to him. Deliberately, Anakin walked over to Yoda and handed him his lightsaber hilt. Yoda started reciting the service. Anakin zoned out, pondering instead about what to do with his soon to be severed braid. He had always imagined this moment. Going back to Tatooine and handing it to his mother, showing her that her sacrifice so many years ago had been worth it. Giving it to Padme on their weeding day – in lieu of rings he couldn't afford and they couldn't not wear. The braid was the most valuable and sentimental gift he could present to her, save for his lightsaber. He had even considered Obi-Wan. He would not be the person he was today without Obi-Wan defending him in front of the Council and without Obi-Wan agreeing to train him.

"Rise, Knight Skywalker."

Anakin took his braid from Yoda's gnarled grasp and shoved his Padawan braid in the inside of his tunic. Almost instantly, he felt the Master-Padawan bond flare with agony before it was severed. It left a strange void in his mind, but to Anakin it felt like strange blissful silence. After all, with the braid finally in his hand, was he supposed to turn around and give it to the only man he had left? The man who let the two most important people in his life die?


	7. Chapter 7

"Padawan, can we talk?"

"It's Knight Skywalker now."

Obi-Wan was taken aback by the chill in Anakin's voice. "I am proud of you, Knight Skywalker. You will make fine Jedi."

"Thank you, Master Kenobi."

"Anakin, please. Can't – can't we talk about this?"

"Talk about what? I am grateful for your teachings, Master Kenobi. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a mission to prepare for." He started walking away, pushing past Obi-Wan. He knew he was being cruel. He just couldn't face him. Obi-Wan meant everything to him, but so had Padme and Shmi.

"Anakin. Please. Just listen for a few minutes. That's all I ask."

Anakin nodded. "Of course. Obi-Wan, I haven't – I don't – I don't hate you."

"It is your right. You were correct – I could have saved your mother and Padme had I listened to you. I am at fault. I was blinded by my pride and ego."

"You didn't trust me."

"I thought you were young and misguided and that I, being older and more experienced, knew better. I was wrong, Anakin. I was so completely and horribly wrong and for that I apologize. Please, please believe me, I didn't want them to die. If I knew – if I thought for a moment that they would be harmed I would have – "

" –a month worth of visions isn't enough? Did you honestly never think that something could be wrong?"

"I…I had doubts but I trusted that the Force – "

" – the Force gave me these visions, Obi-Wan! How many times did you have to reassure yourself that you were doing the right thing? No Jedi has the same nightmares for months! But of course, you have to be the perfect Jedi. Why don't you admit you were jealous? That I had a mother who loved me? A mother I could remember? That I loved Padme the way you wanted me to love you?"

"Anakin, that – no…I never…I – I was jealous of you and Padme. Yes. I know, it was not an appropriate feeling for a Jedi, or to have towards my Apprentice. But I swear to you, I never wanted this to happen. Please, Anakin. If you must, think badly of me for not trusting you and I understand if you chose to report me to the Council for inappropriate conduct."

Anakin was quiet for a few seconds as he thought about what to say next. He wasn't going to report Obi-Wan, that he was certain of. Obi-Wan hadn't made him uncomfortable, and certainly never displayed anything close to "inappropriate conduct." What was going to be harder to admit was, yes, he did think badly of Obi-Wan. Anakin used to think the Jedi were infallible, perfect being and Obi-Wan upheld that image impeccably. Now Anakin knew better. The Jedi were anything but perfect.

Anakin took a step towards Obi-Wan, who shrunk back. He looked so vulnerable, terrified of what Anakin would say. Anakin reached out and pulled Obi-Wan closer to him, hands gently grabbing Obi-Wan's forearms.

"You never made me feel uncomfortable, I always trusted you. I still trust you now, Obi-Wan. I just – every time I think of you, I see my mother, bleeding and dying in my arms. I watch Padme fall again and again…No matter what reasons you give, Obi-Wan, I always see you behind it, pushing Padme out the ship, letting my mother suffer and die. I know you didn't want to see them die, but you also didn't save them. They're dead because you didn't let me save them. I blame you. No matter what you say regardless of how much I want to believe you, I will always blame you. I can't – I can't forgive you. Not yet."

Tears were leaking out of the corner of Obi-Wan's eyes. "I know. I hope we can at least stay in touch. I will miss you, Anakin."

Anakin shook his head and dropped his hands to his side. "I can't. I feel like I'm betraying them somehow. I have to be fair to them and to you. I do think badly of you, and I know you aren't fully to blame, but I am afraid I will treat you poorly because of it."

"I see. I'm sorry I caused you this pain, Anakin. If there is anyway to make it up to you…I promise, I will."

"You can't bring them back, Obi-Wan."

It was at that exact moment that Obi-Wan's commlink beeped, informing him that Chancellor Palpatine was requesting his presence. When Obi-Wan looked up again, Anakin was gone.

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A/N: Thank you all so much for the reviews!


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: As a warning, from this chapter on, the story will be rather Obi-centric, and we really won't hear all that much from Anakin until he's called in to deal with Obi-Wan's meltdown Sorry to all the Anakin fans…

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"Master Kenobi, thank you for joining me. I am sorry the first time we are meeting again is under such circumstances."

Obi-Wan was silent. He had never trusted Palpatine as much as Anakin. Years in the Senate and dealing with politicians had taught him that.

"I've taken over the details of Senator Amidala's funeral arrangements. There is to be a ceremony on Naboo. I was rather hoping you could speak, I know you and Senator Amidala have been close friends since the Blockade Crisis."

"We have no spoken in several years. I am sure that if you asked Anakin he would be better suited – "

" – unfortunately, he declined. He is far too stressed at present, I fear."

"He was just Knighted. The Jedi Council has assigned him his first solo mission as soon as Senator Amidala's service is over. He feels pressure to prove himself a worthy Jedi, even though I have no doubt he will succeed."

"He is not the only one under pressure. Anakin told me what happened. How are you doing, Master Kenobi?"

Anakin talked far too much. Another way that Obi-Wan had failed him. Anakin felt at east confiding to everyone that wasn't Obi-Wan. Padme and Palpatine had know more about his Padawan than he did.

"A little shaken and distressed. The loss of Senator Amidala and Shmi Skywalker was a great loss, particularly to Anakin. He – he did not take their losses well."

"The loss of one's mother and lover is always difficult. It is something, and I hope you will forgive me for pointing it out, that most Jedi cannot understand."

"Anakin always had very strong attachments. It is one of the things that makes him such a unique Jedi. But unfortunately, it is something that the Jedi Council does not look upon favorably."

"I can only imagine how difficult it was for you training. Master Jinn would be proud. Anakin speaks highly of you, even – even with these tragic events."

Maybe he had been mistaken. Anakin had always told him that Palpatine understood the line between duty and personal feelings. He did have a very rational, emotional way of dealing with things. Perhaps Obi-Wan was just feeling too alone and miserable, desperate to have anyone to cling to, anyone who could understand how he felt about Anakin. Anakin had turned to Palpatine under similar metal duress and now Obi-Wan knew why.

"I am afraid he doesn't think quite so highly of me anymore."

"For everything that poor boy is feeling, I think he is doing his best to separate the truth from the fiction."

"What is the difference in this case?" Obi-Wan moaned miserably. "The truth was I did not want to let his mother or Padme die, but I did anyway. It does not matter what my motives are to Anakin. His mother and Padme are dead when I could have prevented it. I as good as killed them."

"Death is never as final as one may believe, Master Kenobi. I am sure you have heard of the tale of _Darth Plagueis the Wise_? I am sure the Jedi have heard of him, even if they do not agree with his methods."

"He was a Sith Lord," Obi-Wan said hesitantly, "killed years ago by his Apprentice. I'm afraid I do not know more."

"The interesting thing about Darth Plagueis, and the irony of his premature death, was his focus on the Force connecting both the living and the dead. One of my teachers, years and years ago, was dedicated to his teachings."

Obi-Wan looked startled and Palpatine hurriedly continued.

"Oh, not any of his darker teachings, I assure you. No, he was more interested in Plagueis's ideas of the true power of the Force. The Jedi believe that the Force connects all things, living and dead."

"The Force is a unifying energy, yes. It is rumored that exceptional Jedi who have truly mastered their connection to the Force can appear even after death."

"My teacher felt the same. Plagueis was focused on living forever, an impossible task. The body would decay, even if the spirit could live on in the Force. But if that spirit could be transferred to another body, replacing the life-force, then immorality could be more attainable."

"The most skilled Jedi Masters have no been able to achieve that oneness with the Force. I do no believe anyone could pull a life-force from the Force."

"Perhaps not. But still, it is a shame that such knowledge could have existed and was lost. I suppose Plagueis's student must still retain the knowledge, if he is not long dead."

"Accepting death is part of the Jedi life."

"Preventing deaths is also a part of the Jedi life, Master Kenobi. Why accept something you could change?"

Obi-Wan didn't have an answer to that. If he could change it, would he? A Jedi should accept death, but did they have to? What if he could bring them back? Anakin would finally forgive him. It would set everything back to normal. But something like that wasn't possible, even for someone as power as Darth Plagueis has supposedly been. It was just Palpatine's teacher spinning mythical stories for him. There was no truth to it. How could there be?

"Ah, I am afraid I have detained you with an old man's fantastical stories. My apologizes. I will have one of my aides show you out. Please let me know if you change your mind about Senator Amidala's ceremony."


	9. Chapter 9

Obi-Wan did not change his mind. He debated about it for the entire journey to Naboo, although it was rather distracting having other around him. He had no time alone to focus on his thoughts. It was a mark of how strongly Padme's lost was felt that Master's Yoda and Windu were accompanying Anakin and Obi-Wan. Luckily, or perhaps unlucky for Obi-Wan, Yoda and Mace were meditating in the cargo hold, leaving Anakin and Obi-Wan alone in the cockpit.

"Chancellor Palpatine said you did not want to speak today."

Anakin looked irritably over at him. "No. What was I going to say? Padme was an angel. The most beautiful and strong woman in the Senate and I loved her. Am I supposed to say that?"

"I – no, I had forgotten –"

" –of course, you forgot how much she meant to me. She - she was there for my mother's funeral. Just a small grave in the sand. Padme – Padme knelt by her and – and told her how proud she should be of – of me."

"Anakin, I – I am sorry. If there was a way I could change things, I would."

"Would you? Or would you just use it as a lesson on how 'Jedi are supposed to accept death?"

"It is a hard lesson to learn. I know how it feels to lose someone."

"You lost Qui-Gon to a Sith Lord. He died fighting. It isn't the same. Padme died without a chance to defend herself. My mother was beaten and tortured like an animal. Do you know how that feels?"

"No, Anakin. I don't."

"Then don't lecture me on accepting death. They shouldn't have died. Rather than accepting death, I should have prevented it."

They spent the rest of the trip in silence. Even though their Master-Padawan bond had been dissolved, Obi-Wan could still feel the waves of anger and resentment Anakin was projecting. It was incredibly suffocating. It had been less than a week and already he was desperately missing his and Anakin's banter. This wasn't the Team anymore. This was Anakin Skywalker, the Hero with No Fear and Obi-Wan Kenobi , the man who hurt him. He knew Anakin hated him, but couldn't he hate him and still talk to him?

It was a horrible addiction and Obi-Wan knew it. His attachment to Anakin was dangerously overpowering. He had become so used to Anakin being there, not just being his Apprentice, but being his other half. When he and Anakin fought it was as one unit. Anakin knew his moves before he made them, his thoughts before he said them. It was such a strange feeling not to have that anymore. It was like losing a part of himself. He would do anything for Anakin. He couldn't bear to see him unhappy, knowing he had caused it. If there was anything he could do to make Anakin's life better, no matter what cost, he would do so.

* * *

At the funeral, watching Padme's pristine, perfect body floating by on the open casket, and seeing Anakin's face, tears silently streaming down his face and his light blue eyes darkened with grief, Obi-Wan decided that "anything" would mean having another discussion with Chancellor Palpatine. Obi-Wan knew what that discussion would mean. A Jedi asking for more information on the teachings of a Sith, looking for a way around the finality of death…it went against everything he had been taught. He was a Jedi. He should accept death and encourage Anakin to do so as well. A Jedi did not seek to cheat death. It was impossible to bring a life back from its place in the Force. He was risking abandoning his Jedi principals on a whim.

He looked over again at Anakin. How many times had Anakin risked everything to save Obi-Wan? Anakin would do anything to save the people he loved. He had defied the Council's orders rushing to his mother's side. Even if Palpatine could not help him, Obi-Wan needed to prove himself. He couldn't expect Anakin to forgive him until he was sure he did everything in his power to make amends. He loved Anakin. And sometimes with love came sacrifice.


	10. Chapter 10

The weeks proceeding Padme's funeral were particularly rough for Obi-Wan. The media was having an absolute celebration, their ratings had gone up on all the Holonet coverage. They had stopped running article's on Senator Amidala's funeral – their readers had loved her, but too much depressing news was just not good long term – and had moved on back to the public's favorite duo: Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi.

The only thing better than the "Grand Duo of the Republic" was a squabble between the duo. Obi-Wan Kenobi was good Jedi and all, but Anakin Skywalker was the man of the century. The legendary Chosen One of the Jedi, saving Naboo from the blockade at only nine, starting a close friendship with the Queen and then Senator, fighting bravely through the Clone Wars…he was the man every child wanted to grow up to be. He was the real hero. His mentor was idolized too…but he didn't have the youthful, sarcastic, sexy mannerisms that Anakin possessed. So if there was a fight between the two of them, there was no way they were going to make their Golden Boy of the war look bad.

_Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker Sent On First Mission Without Obi-Wan Kenobi: Is Something Breaking up the Team? _

_ Anakin Skywalker has just recently been given one of the highest honors bestowed on a Jedi – he has been promoted to the rank of Jedi Knight. Recently departed for his first mission however, he seems to have chosen to go solo, breaking up his and Obi-Wan Kenobi's unique team. For two men who seemed to have such a close bond of camaraderie, what happened to break that up? Depression over the loss of his close childhood friend, Padme Amidala? Or perhaps just a need to prove himself as a successful Jedi, away from his Master? Our reporters have recently uncovered another shocking truth. An anonymous tip has led to some interesting revelations. Obi-Wan Kenobi is the reason Padme Amidala is dead. An interesting conversation with Commander Tor has lead to this interesting fact – Skywalker and Kenobi's ship on Geonosis was shot, causing the young senator to fall. Skywalker was insistent that they stop the ship and help her, but Kenobi refused. _

_ The Jedi may want to saves lives, Anakin Skywalker right with them, but Obi-Wan Kenobi seems to have ulterior motives. Was he perhaps jealous of – _Obi-Wan threw the holopad down on the table with disgust. He hated the tabloids! Hated them! He was sick of all the publicity when it had been positive…now he was going to be known as the man who killed the beloved senator and betrayed his best friend.

"But that's who I am! That's who I've become!" Obi-Wan shouted furiously. "It's all my fault. They're right! I betrayed Anakin's trust! I let Padme die! I let his mother die! I haven't done anything right for him since he came to the Temple!"

Palpatine nodded sympathetically. "Everyone makes mistakes, Master Kenobi. There is always a way to make amends."

"Not to Anakin. You can't make up for mistakes with him, you just have to fix them." He paused. Thinking. There was no making up for a mistake as final as death. Causing someone to die was the ultimate mistake, one that was no turning back from. Unless…unless there was. Unless there really was a way to bring someone back to life. Even if it didn't work, he might finally feel at peace. He could face Anakin and say he tried. He did everything he possibly could, risked everything he had, to try and make Anakin happy. To try and make everything right.

"Do, do you think it would work? Trying to bring back someone's spirit?"

"I think this universe is full of mysteries, none more than in the Force. There is so much knowledge that has yet to be unlocked."

Obi-Wan Kenobi went against everything he had been taught. Everything his gut instinct was protesting. But this was what his desperate love for Anakin was pushing him to do. "How would I go about learning this knowledge?"

The Emperor grinned.

* * *

A/N: I am so sorry I have been so slow updating! I promise, I'm trying to make more time to update more regularly!


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